"calvin the sink is clogged"
"WATCH OUT FOR THE VARIEGATED SWARMS OF UNDEAD BEAGLES"
"the male bathroom code is '21' and generally the center-most soap dispenser is full"
"Shoutout to my man Ira. Featured this joint in a This American Life ep."
"If you don't have a spicy mango margarita in your hand at this very moment, you're doing many things incorrectly"