"Never sleep on a plane. You might get incepted."
"For a little added luxury, treat yourself to 2 toilet seat napkins in the bathrooms by the food court!"
"Drive-thru speaker may, or may not, work during your visit."
"As always, try not to get stuck behind a dirty, stinking hippy in the security line."
"My wife loves this place. Me? Not so much."
"Nicest men's room in this mall."