"Check In to The Midnight Mansion on Foursquare when you pick up your tickets for #SHAMROCKS2012 : St. Patrick’s Day Club Crawl before St. Patrick's Day a receive $5 off your purchase!!"
"The front lawn driving range will be open as soon as the snow melts.... Bring your clubs for some whack Fuck!!"
"Door bell is broken so give the midget in the tux a loonie and he'll knock for u. ... In the event that tuxedoed midget is unavailable one must use his or her own hand(s) to knock"
"$3 shots $3.50 beer & hiballs every Friday night all night long. .. I suggest getting there early"