"Basic tees are buy one get one free for the whole family! Ends 3/14/12."
"Jeans are on sale from $29.99 and up! Tons of new markdowns too!"
"One of the employees is a huge homophobe."
"40% off all tops, every $40 you spend gives you $10 back, what more could you want?!"
"Sweaters and jeans are $29.99 and up and thermals are on sale for $19.99 and up!"
"Shop with us on BLACK FRIDAY! Doors open at midnight AND when you spend $40+ you get a free Kodak camera!"