"Watch out for the deer! So so many of those buggers crossing."
"New and clean facilities. Has a huge room of travel literature, a great dog run, and a playground for children (equipped for disabled children). Let the dogs and kiddies stretch their legs!"
"The home brewed cider is explosive! Watch your fingers!!"
"They have so many coupons that every customer seems to pay a different price for the same food. Lob three random numbers their way and see if your coupon code sticks."
"If it looks disgusting, it's because it is."
"Give Grandpa a hug and/or handshake. He's a bad ass like Johnny Cash."