"Quite possibly the slowest Tim Hortons I have ever been to."
"Serves Whoppers at breakfast. Yayayuh."
"Since you're this close to Coffee Time, why not go get a good cup of coffee?"
"The restrooms here are always dirty and smell horrible. Be forewarned."
"The single scoops are plenty big. The butter pecan ice cream is like little angels dancing on your tongue."
"Beware. They are usually unaware of specials. Bring in a flyer."