"Abandon all hope, ye who poop post-opening act."
"Patio is the place to be on weekends. People often overlook this awesome spot in favor of Brit's or other outdoor drinking establishments."
"Request Anthony for your server, he'll make your night!"
"This place would be sweet if everyone who's patronizing the place wasn't just awful."
"Beware of the too-tight-tee wearing, back-rubbing bros talking about the money they are (see: aren't) making for their company too loudly so the nearby girls who are already in relationships can hear."