"No more Free Chip n Salsa through Foursquare (or any 3rd party) app."
"Ask for Esther, she's an awesome server!"
"Surprise, Surprise. They're out of extra crispy chicken! THEY'RE ALWAYS OUT OF EXTRA CRISPY CHICKEN, SO DON'T BOTHER ASKING!"
"Don't trust the wireless here. It's sketchy at best."
"I need TP for my bung hole."