"This is my bedroom. Take your trash with you when you leave."
"No air conditioning. Go ahead and kill yourself beforehand."
"Best place for fourth of July firework viewing and to watch the sunset over the ocean."
"This place is ran by a chow/golden retriever mix. Need I say more?"
"Just don't come here...but if you do go through the drive thru and say hello to me!"
"If you don't like cats then this probably isn't the place for you. Don't park directly out front on the street. That's my spot and I'll kill you."