"The bagels here taste exactly how you think they would. Rushed service, sloppy bagel."
"Wednesday night is Get Weird night. Bring your broga mat, grab a slice and bro out to some Workaholics."
"Careful with your cheese and margaritas. There's a Mexican puppy ready to steal the deliciousness."
"You can't go wrong here, but the Buffalo Chicken pie is fantastic. Order it for Football Sunday and everyone will be pleased."
"Stick around for dessert and grab the fresh peaches, they're definitely worth your time!"
"Come on Thursday nights and order a drink from Russ Martinsen, the best bartender in town!"