Pawn Meksyphet

"A God Amongst Men goes here. Men, do not look directly into his eyes. Women, refrain from jumping his bones on sight. Clad in Timberlands & Matching Attire to dance walk on treadmills. He is GYM PIMP!"

"If you hate young kids on flights, buy headphones or shoot yourself in the face for hating kids, you heartless d-bags."

"These guys sometimes portion out your burrito like it's Mad Max, Post Apocalypse times. Just walk out if you get an anemic burrito, regain your composure and try again."

"Make sure you have a defibrillator to bring you back from the food coma that you will have after eating here"

"You have to jumping jacks to get service to see you, even then they pretend not to see you"

"Get your burrito in a bowl and get the tortilla on the side. You'll end up with more food than what they can stuff into a burrito alone."