"Jeremy wrote the Twilight books"
"Jeremy was the one who hid Osama Bin Laden"
"Jeremy is Hitler reincarnated"
"Jeremy eats puppies and runs and underground dog fighting ring with Michael Vick. He also legally married a tub of mayonasie"
"Jeremy is a North Korean spy and shares classified information with communists while eating dog stew made from puppies"
"They serve dinner four nights a week"