"This place makes my ass itch"
"Crispy chicken dumplings and drunken noodles. All you need to know."
"Stop playing candy crush on your smartphone and watch your children."
"Service is horrible. I'm certain no one would try to help you if you dropped dead in the aisle."
"Icelandic pop star Bjork has been spotted here wearing a cape."
"This was from a "freshly" made chicken calzone. I think I've seen the same material at a hardware store."