Nick Sharafinski

"I love getting the runs from this lovely food."

"The music makes me want to kill elderly people. And I don't think it physically possible to crank it any louder."

"The bathrooms are a real treat to poop in, as long as you have reading material. I enjoy a Working Mother Magazine double issue."

"This is a cute place for a hate rally or to trade pokemon cards with foreign wizards."

"Go to the island and live like Tom Hanks from Cast Away for a while. Or pretend you're on Survivor."

"Try putting on a strike outside the front doors."