"Beer is amazing now ownership has changed hands to Williams Bros"
"Stroke the cat if you can find it, she's lovely, obese, and slightly aloof as all cats should be. Now with timber triple-glazing and poorly functioning wi-fi!"
"The Alastair Gray mural is beautiful. A true hero of Scottish contemporary culture."
"Wait here for trains which sometimes stop and let you on them, reducing perambulatory pressure."
"The rushhour 5.59 to Glasgow is on the screens as gourock and is in fact the front 2 carriages of that train. Confuses people every day."