"Zombie Apocalypse Shelter Alpha"
"To all the incoming Freshman this 2011 Fall semester: don't move all the furniture. It pisses us off. Thank you!"
"Don't take the stairs unless you know EXACTLY where you're going! Through some time-space rift, you end up completely turned around."
"Don't park here unless your pass says you can! They love to give tickets in this lot."
"Try the french toast: it's awesome!"