"My friend used to fuck one of the baristas here but said he was too much like a girl. The coffee isn't like a girl but the iced coffee is sorta weak, like the barista, yo."
"I'd rather have cancer."
"Be awesome. Everyone else here is!"
"Let them talk you into a massage. It's totally worth it."
"Boy, prepare to wait almost always, if you're coming here for the drive thru."