"If only there were grues here, but there aren't."
"The potato chips here are really really REALLY crunchy. Loud ass crunchy."
"One of the security checkpoints is closed. Except looooong lines."
"The toasters are turbo-charged here, which sounds great and all, but they always leave my Pop-Tarts burnt and tasting like chunks of pure carbon."
"Probably the best place to read tacos on campus."
"The floor here appears to be composed of 15,762 tiles."