"$7 for an imported cider ... From Texas. I was not aware that things from out of state were considered "imported" I bet the "imported" Guiness is the US made kind too."
"Bartenders will give free shots (even knowing you are broke and can not pay or tip) even when they are married."
"No freshwater plants that are not "semi" aquatic :("
"I will reclaim my mayorship!!"
"M: $1 tacos, $2 Cap Apples. T: 1/2 price apps, $2 lemon drops. W: $5 bottomless wings, $7 pitchers. Th: $3 burgers. F: $3 grape ape. Sa: $3 jäger, $3 guinness. Su: $2 bloody marys, $2 screwdrivers."
"Don't fall into the toilet"