"If you can help it, don't live in the basement."
"Four really awesome folks live here. If you don't like obnoxious music and singing, you shouldn't be here."
"Don't. Eat. Here. If you have any money, go somewhere else. If you're broke, do the college thing... But if you can help it - stay away."
"Wonderful people live here right now. The bottom floor of 26b is my favorite :-)"
"Get the hell out of my way, tourists. I have stuff to do."
"Salad's kinda suck but the burgers are good."