"Observing Crosswalks is optional for ATVs."
"Say no when someone asks if they can "punch" your Plus Card. They want to punch your "Plus Card"."
"People call Surly Kroger's savings a "steal". I call those people "felons"."
"Try the flights. They're delayed."
"Give Rob uncomfortably long hugs. I call them Mangrapples."
"15 items or less. Or else."