"If you are coming to this Walmart looking for bonemeal, please save yourself the trouble and take your business elsewhere. Seriously disappointing."
"Eat kratom before you come here"
"If you're super poor and need a beer, just stop inside, pretend like you're waiting on someone, and get yourself a complimentary beer from the counter."
"Be sure to order your bowl without hair in it! Yum :-)"
"The Happy Meal is the world's best cold/flu medicine!"