"Pet the cats. The fluffy one bites, the black one licks."
"If you must use the restrooms, don't be afraid to ask strangers to hold the doors closed for you, as many of the locks are broken."
"Use the bathrooms upstairs. More stalls, and no one knows about them so there's never a wait."
"Suck it up and hold Rosie the tarantula. She's actually really soft and light."
"So expensive. And not too filling. Save $5 and get a sub anywhere else."
"Italian herbs and cheese bread all the way."