"This place takes twelve thousand years. Don't go if you're in a hurry."
"If you're not a fan of fresh onion, don't forget to ask them to hold the garnish!"
"They water their wines here. Disgusting."
"Wow!! Melissa is AWESOME! My brows have never looked this good in my life!"
"Beware: A Splenda will cost you 20 cents."
"Obsessed with the ice cream - best in town. But no Splenda for your coffee?! Dark Ages."