"Only for people who understand that this is an island for ironic castaways only."
"A beautiful girl works here. I'm in love with her."
"The Nandos by the station was the first Nandos in the UK."
"In the station building is a kebab shop run by a nice man who likes talking about chess."
"If you're bored go to the pet department as it's much cheaper than a zoo. There aren't many animals, but what can you expect - this is a shop, not a zoo."