"I waited twenty minutes for someone to help me make a copy of a house key..this was after they called for help four different times on the PA system...Lowes next time it is"
"You are coming sober....leaving hammered and full of food"
"Paperwork, laughs, pranks, and free pizzza it's a beautiful thing"
"Pork salad is where it's at"
"Best sex I've had in a Beamer, Benz, or bentley with the best view too"