"Finest place to sit and read in all the city."
"Remember, you can bring a soda with you. If you do get thirsty and need a drink, though, have singles handy."
"Bring an oriental fan or something, because it's a little like a cattle pen outside!"
"Alcoholic beverages prohibited! Don't let alcoholics bring water to the park!"
"Come for the booze, not for the food."
"Never park in the silver van's spot or behind it! It makes old people grumpy."