"Cheap breakfast baps starting from 99p and tea and coffee from 99p. Not to mention fantastic customer service."
"They have sunbeds. Standing up ones and they're £1 for 3 minutes."
"Watch out for the cat, Sheeran, he prowls the landing and attacks you as go down."
"Watch out for the door frame on your way down the stairs into the kitchen, you might bang your head"
"Pasta and Mince. The Gentlemens Lounge speciality."
"Come pick up a Text Santa hat! It's only £1 and all the proceeds go straight to the charities we are supporting!"