"Espresso milkshake? Excellent. Decaf Americano? Not so much. And somebody teach your fedora'd servers to learn how to make simple syrup. That's why they call it simple."
"If you have a typo -- like your menu says Thai iced coffee but what you REALLY mean is Thai iced tea -- fix it. Like now."
"When you offer cream for your coffee, don't come back with whole milk. We can tell the difference."
"This is far from authentic. Pad See Eiu with glass noodles? Come on, people. And they spice it up with liberal amounts of black pepper? A travesty. Obviously, Springfield has not had real Thai food."
"Open every day except Wednesday. When they say Thai spicy, they mean it. You've been warned. For those of us who can take the heat, their Panang curry is spectacularly flavorful."
"Try the muffins. They're fresh, full of fruit and as big as your fist."