"Much better than the Pit of Despair. I felt very safe here. We can avoid the flame spurt and the lightning sand. And Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist."
"Probably the best taco spot in the Village. Definitely a hole in the wall, and everything is delicious."
"First-rate castle! Complete with walking suits of armor, staring portraits, and inconspicuous secret passages."
"Turns back into a pumpkin after hipsters' midnight/3am"
"Look at your life, look at your choices."