"I just wish there were less books here so more people could hang out."
"Real hipsters go to Bokeh Lounge."
"Slower than tits...which is slow."
"Try D-2 athletes, and a bunch of dudes who call fouls better than they shoot."
"I'm the mayor so buy me a slider and I'll knight your ass."
"Otherwise known as UC East, but can we get a more swagtastic name up in this piece?!"