"This should be a fairly safe place to be during a zombie attack as there are lots of sharp implements at hand. Fight in style!"
"In the event of a zombie attack, try explaining SharePoint licensing (don't forget FAST) to them. They will quickly abandon the attack."
"Pajamas are not appropriate attire here. If you want to wear pajamas, go to The Living Room, about 20 min walk from here."
"In the event of a zombie attack, head to the back and use bagel making equipment to defend yourself. Later, sneak next door to Sears for axes and whatnot."
"In the event of a zombie attack, get on a motorcycle and drive away."
"In the event of a zombie attack, barricade yourself in the vault. But don't get trapped in there!"