"most uncomfortable chairs ever. feels like you're sitting on foam from 1972."
"The egg and ham breakfast burrito tastes like you're eating a bag of Morton's salt. So you can avoid that one."
"Pancakes are daringly good. I don't even favor pancakes but these are ridiculous. Good job, kitchen magicians."
"Tall boys of PBR? More, yes, absolutely and now."
"Order the chicken piccata. No, seriously, order the chicken piccata."
"The elevator is straight out of Twilight Zone's Tower of Terror ride. Also, if you listen to your television on mute people will still complain that it's too loud."