"I've always received great service and honest advice. Pay a lil more than Joe Schmo mechanic down the block, but worth it."
"Watch out for the fat piece of shit in the blue box Scion. She'll give you a ticket for no reason."
"Come for a haircut, stay for the show."
"Thank you Gwen Stefani for emptying my wallet everytime I go to Target."
"Give the person you're sitting next to advanced notice you will be departing the train at Jamaica."