"The other location didn't have the obscure tires for my '98 shit wagon. The guy at this location took one look at my car, immediately knew what I needed, and pulled out a $40 replacement tire. Baller."
"Russ's is a sad place. Because there's at least one person here that is higher than you."
"Atmosphere: Crying Baby"
"This place smells like a zoo and Natural Grocers has cheaper prices on some protein/energy bars."
"Home of the original kitten mittens"
"Scientists estimate that least one person per day will shit their pants in this McDonald's."