"Cuts are $17.00. Save two dollars if you can pass for 7 years old."
"WARNING! Bears have been known to hibernate here in the winter."
"Don't get the guac its all gelatinous and stuff you guys."
"The awning on the building next door makes good shelter from rain."
"OMG!!! Get ready for the time of your life x 10"
"Jewl is right here. Get a refreshing bevre while you wait for the bus."