"Get a burrito bowl with tortilla on the side. Then when you can't finish the bowl, pour the rest of it into the tortilla and you've got a burrito for later! Brilliance."
"I had water spots all over my car. And the vacuuming job was horrible. Don't think I'll be returning :/"
"Don't get a crazy girlfriend, that turns into a crazy ex-girlfriend."
"Make sure you go to the deodorant station before leaving! We don't want no stanky bitches!"