"I'm no play cafe newspaper critic, but if I was; my name would be Chester Pompington and I would give this place 2 brightly coloured balls out of 10."
"Full of ugos. Don't visit after dark."
"Great morning or afternoon out with young kids. Good value for money and friendly service. All wineries should have this."
"Trim: first cat to ever circumnavigate Australia."
"It is considered good luck to pat the boar's snout, thus the discoloration. Note the colour of the penis."