"Ask to try on the eye glasses: then be all Welcome to the Dollhouse, Woo Woo!"
"When they challange you to a game of ping pong, make sure you get the east side of the table: that way the afternoon sun wil be blazing in your opponets eyes. And YOU WILL BE THE WINNER."
"Ask to see the canned bean collection. It's amazing!"
"If you get a chance, introduce yourself to current Mayor Drew. He's got a million stories of funny things that happen here. Kinda sad, actually."