"Or C. Someone steals your shit and your out an expensive laptop or smartphone that your more than likely will never see again."
"B. You win the Nobel Peace prize because you trusted in the goodness of humanity and truly believed your property would still be where you left it. Your 1 million dollars richer!"
"A. The northern Virginia Joint Terrorist Task Force repels in and sets up a perimeter to protect your items and wait patiently for you to finish what YOU are doing."
"Multiple choice, choose the best answer: You leave your phone or luggage unattended to shop, eat or use the bathroom, what is most likely to occur?"
"Don't ever lay on the carpets in the B and C Terminals. The terminals are infested with field mice. They run around everywhere late in the evening. Probably where your laying now!"