"If you listen closely, your can hear the haunted moans of his repressed gay demons inside."
"Jon hates when the guy bartender gives him beer with head... he just wants the head."
"Stay at the Motel 6... the sheets are cleaner."
"Pee at the Singlewide. Thr lines are shorter."
"They say a half-man, half-beast roams these grounds, napping and waiting for a fair maiden to wander into his midst... and occasionally ordering Papa John's."