"Bring the employees tacos. Lots and lots of tacos."
"Are you white? Welcome! You're in the right place! This Meijer has a great selection and the worst customers."
"You know what this place needs? Some stuck up white people. Not nearly enough of those around."
"Support your local record store. Steve Jobs has enough of your money!"
"The DELI line forms to the right. The BAKERY line forms to the left. Don't look like an ass and hold everyone else up!"
"Wanna get good service? GO ANYWHERE ELSE."