"The food sucks and the service is shit. Would not eat here again."
"Douche Fest of bros waiting to slip in date rape drugs in your drink. Be very careful- the crowd at this bar isn't one you want to be with."
"The burgers here are surprisingly palatable! Order the BBQ one, it's pretty awesome."
"Choose wisely where you park."
"Stick it to the motherfucking man and seriously find ways to protest the City of Shitcago's towing"
"Get your books from the upper floor and read them downstairs near the fireplace lounge. Pass on the cafe."