"Rated #1 in Home and Garden magazine's top 10 places to use soap."
"Wear your shoes throughout your entire stay at the house. You'll understand why"
"If I show up to class, you get bonus points."
"You may notice incredibly expensive yet incredibly tacky clothing when you arrive. This means you made it to the right airport. Reference photo posted."
"There a lot of chicks with horned-rimmed glasses here... A hipster's paradise"
"If you are a hot chick please ask for Tony Stark or visit @broketonystark on twitter to have your dreams come true."