"Looks kinda sketchy but was a decent place to stay while waiting to close on my home. Bring your own bed linens."
"Do your best not to live here. The landlord is vying for the "slumlord of the year" title"
"United sucks. Take southwest instead"
"Get a mocha coconut cream freeze. Tastes like a frozen almond joy! Yum!"
"Still the best place to get a brow wax within 300 miles!"
"Get the truffle fries. And don't share them with anyone!!!"