"Tell your kid it's a SEABATTLE. She will enjoy it."
"Park has no lights for night play. It's bullshit."
"Get cockblocked by pharmacy staff. You know you want to."
"You will probably be asked for money in this parking lot. Remember, you only have a debit card!!!"
"#glutenfree? Do not eat here. They do not know what's in their "homemade" dressings."
"The Vimto too sweet? Mix it with green tea for a nice treat to beat the Summer heat!"