"Don't come here if you're in a hurry."
"The waitresses may be cute, but they'll steal your money if you don't watch them. Their cash register clocks are 10 minutes slow."
"Check your to go order because you'll spend your whole lunch hour trying to get it straintened out if you don't."
"They turn the wifi off for the lunch rush."
"They have the best muffins. If you ask, they will warm them up for you."
"Refill your Starbucks Card with the Mobile Card iPhone app, and get an extra $5 credit."