Christy Zhou

"Try the guilty plea"

"Don't get the frozen yogurt here--it's bland and cloyingly sweet. Better to go to Yogen Fruz a few booths away"

"Poorly designed theater. The screening rooms have hardly any incline at all, leaving viewers at the mercy of anyone with a larger-than-normal head. Skip this one for the Cineplex on Richmond."

"Identify the philosophy majors by their affected mannerisms and ironic headwear."

"Bring hand sanitizer. Inspect thoroughly before purchase. Look through all the sizes for mis-sorted pieces. And don't get overwhelmed by all the sagging polyester--there are gems buried in there!"

"Currently selling bags of tiny, perfectly crispy Gala apples for $2 each."