"Tuesdays lunch slices are margherita or bacon with Gouda. The bacon with Gouda is amazing. Not sure about the margherita, cuz, um there's bacon on the other one :)"
"If you leave your children unattended in the playground I am going to either charge you a monetary amount that I deem acceptable or I will give your children caffeine, sugar and teach them to swear."
"This park just got even better! They've built a bathroom!"
"Waaaaay pricier than they should be, and just say no to all the upselling and head to Walmart...DIY"