"The tire guys totally went the extra mile when they bent my spare back in to shape. Keep in mind flat fixes are free of charge for members!"
"Best place in town for affordable, fresh fruit and veggies!"
"The cleanest place you've ever been to..."
"For the first time in my entire life, I have actually walked out of a restaurant. That was the worst experience I have ever had at a restaurant."
"Just remember to take off your shoes when you pass out..."